Things have been all over the place lately. I have been allowing the boys to get the best of me to be honest. It’s not the most fun to admit that, but it’s true. I have become overwhelmed with breast feeding, diaper changes, Disney movies, toddler tantrums, and all that fun crap. I am ashamed that I have allowed it to dictate my feelings. Sometimes it gets me in a funk where I just don’t want to leave the house. I try to “excuse” it away by thinking that it’s too hard, it will take forever to get where we are going then it will be a nightmare full of fits and screams, or I just don’t have the energy. It’s sad and lonely to be alone all the time. I love my boys and their smiles, giggles, hugs, kisses, and all the beautiful moments that being a Stay At Home Mom provides me. I just have found that I need some time that will allow me some peace in my riddled with legos, hectic world.
My 27th birthday is right around the corner. It scares me that I am just a few years to 30 (but, for everyone who matters I will always remain 29, hehe). I have been thoroughly blessed with a wonderful husband, beautiful children, a fantastic support system, but nothing for me… me as an individual. I get so absorbed with the constant growing life around me that I forget that I have interests, goals, things that make me happy. My husband asked me what I wanted to achieve before I am 28. After hearing the question, I had to really stop and think… because I had never thought about it at all. Didn’t even cross my mind to have a goal or annual things to accomplish. So, I started.
This year I want to mix things up a little bit for myself. I want to get me and my boys out there. I want to explore new friendships, chase new opportunities, and see what fun I can find before I am 28. These are some of the things that I am going to start looking into:
1) We have set some roots out in our new home. I love the city, I love our neighborhood, I love it all… Now, to familiarize myself with it. I want to take drives around the area and learn what my city and the neighboring cities have to offer. I want to picnic at parks, browse local museums, and figure out where the local library is. I want to make this city our home and find the history behind it all.
2) I want to make some mommy friends. I want my kids to be more socialized. I want them to know that they can make local friends and have play dates and enjoy the company of someone other than Mom. As much as I enjoy keeping them all to myself I think this will benefit both of us. They will learn to associate with other children appropriately and I will be able to meet other moms going through the same trials and tribulations that I am. It will also be nice to meet the parents of the kids that my children will likely be going to school with.
3) I want to take back some “me” time. My husband offers it, I should be able to take the time to enjoy something for myself. If that means blogging in the evening, great. If that means taking some time to go for a jog/run in the early evening, even better. Just do something for myself.
4) Go to Weight Watchers. Not to lose weight, but to get healthy again. I am tired of always feeling gross because of what I am eating or drinking. I want to feel good about everything that is going on in my life, even the stuff I am putting in my mouth.
5) I want to run a 5K. I used to do them no problem, now it’s been at least a year and a half since I last ran a few miles. I want to get back in running condition and do it.
6)I want to start a group of my own. An interest group. Something that will get me and other people active. It’s an added bonus if it’s something new. Like learn how to knit, start a bunco group, begin a recipe exchange, etc. It just will get me working on something that will make me satisfied with something that I want to do.
This is just something that will get me going. Nothing too overwhelming. I want something to get me started so I don’t feel I will automatically fail. I gotta start somewhere, because I am in desperate need of a change.