Hopes and dreams are crushed in so many ways. For some hopes and dreams go up in flames due to the revelation that Santa isn’t who we thought he was. For others it’s the loss of a promotion to someone who we feel isn’t deserving of the position. There are even those people who simply go to a restaurant and their favorite item on the menu is no longer available. Life has its peaks and valleys and I am in the middle of a decline because of some of my hopes and dreams. My hope and dream started with a house in Waxahachie… but, before I get to that let me explain a little more.

The past week has been rough. I have been feeling “off” as you could probably tell from my earlier post. I went to the doctor and they took a plethora of blood work and did my regular check-up stuff. As soon as I got some of the results I checked them and saw that two things popped up a bit irregular (not far off the charts, but enough that it makes me nervous). I immediately email my doc and haven’t heard back. My hope of all being well is still there, but I am getting anxious.

I follow up with the job I have applied for. He was so friendly when I came in and submitted my application. I thought he would be just as excited to talk to me. Showing initiative is a desirable quality in a potential employee. I thought it was a good idea to check in, but every time I call (I have only called twice) he seems agitated as though I am a nuisance. My hope of getting into some sort of work is slowly dwindling.

Then I get this awesome update from my builder Bob… Bob THE Builder… HAHAHAHA! It makes me laugh every time. He was just letting me know that the roof is getting set up and the air conditioning ducts were being put in. I ask him when the next time is that we will need a meeting to go over the next part of the process and he says that the developer’s agent will contact us to schedule it. My dream of our beautiful new home is at a peak here. Everything is running smoothly and timing is going as planned… then I get the text.

Instead of getting a joyful text asking when I am available for the next builders meeting, I am told that they just recently decided that they are going to make our development have a mandatory Home Owners Association (HOA) to pay for maintenance of a brick wall and detection pond that was required by the city. What I know of HOA’s are not good things. They are a pain in the ass and they are there to maintain property value, but that’s about it. If I want to paint my house, I have to make sure all colors are approved by the HOA and that the contractor is approved by the HOA. Fences have to be uniform and if I want to make adjustments to my own property (i.e. add a room or a deck or a porch) I have to make sure that the HOA approves it first. If I put my garbage out too early or leave it out too late I could be fined. HOA rates can be adjusted based on if my neighbors pay their own dues. If a neighbor hates me they can constantly complain to the HOA and cause me more fines. In theory a HOA is nice, but completely unnecessary if I don’t get a community pool or club house or park. If you are not going to mow my lawn and maintain my flowers for me I don’t think I need to pay for a HOA. Bottom line…I WANT A HOME. I WANT A HOME THAT IS MINE. I don’t want a home that even after I pay it off, I will still for my entire life be required to pay a damn fee to live there. HOA’s can affect how I sell my home, how I care for my home, what I do with my vehicles, what I do with guests and pets, the list goes on… I am not for it, nor will I ever be for it. If we had known that a HOA was going to be involved we would not have gone with this home/builder/development. I would probably already been living in a house by now because we would have found something else.

NOW… because we signed a contract (which has no mention of a HOA) and we are in the middle of building I am at a loss. I have the builder’s agent looking into my options. I don’t want this. I never wanted this. My house… my new house… is no longer my own. The agent tells me she didn’t know. I am not sure I believe that. Then she says she didn’t find out until Dec. 6th, when she got the email with proposed CCR’s (HOA rules and regulations). Again, I don’t really know if I believe that. If this HOA was imposed by the city why didn’t you tell me when we signed the contract? I don’t really think it is accurate to say the city is behind this… I think the builder is trying to recoup fees for maintenance and decided that calling it an HOA was the best course of action… but the agent assures me that the CITY was the one who is REQUIRING them to enforce a HOA on the new phase of the development. If the city required it for them to get the permits, back in AUGUST when they were actively trying to acquire permits they would have known and should have told us (the buyers).

According to the agent, the developer would be running the HOA until all the homes are sold in the phase. How convenient! You get to police the place while you are selling it to other people. That’s a bit biased and sketchy to say the very least. We have been waiting on our house since JUNE. You (the builder/developer) should be paying me to wait for this damn house. You said it would be done originally in November/December. Then it should be ready no later than January. Then, oh definitely by end of February, early March. Now, it’s probably safe to say end of March, early April. I have been living in an empty apartment (and a not so nice apartment at that) due to the promise of my house. My house with NO HOA. Now, after waiting six months (three and a half months of which we were IN Texas) we are still without a home.

Rates and our mortgage are still going up every day that I wait, all because of a lie… A bold faced lie. If the agent didn’t know, someone else higher up in the company knew. Someone in the developers company dropped the ball and thought it would be great to lock people in and wait till the last second to tell them that they will have a HOA and fees, but it’s ok because we are still giving you the house you wanted. We are paying good money for that house, you are not “giving” it to me. We continued with waiting and the house building process because of a promise that has been broken. Now we are out money and time and so much more because you couldn’t get your shit together enough to tell your ONLY representative of the community, your AGENT, the proper information for her to sell. This is a joke… a twisted and sick joke.

My dream of this house the way we wanted it is crushed and gone. Where do we go from here? Do we sit here and take it? Do we say fuck it we want our money back? Do we find another new build or a more established home? Do we stay in Waxahachie? What do we do?

My life has been a hot mess about this. I had a nightmare about our house last night. But, tomorrow hopefully I will have more answers to my questions. I am hoping we can figure something out. I love Benjamin and my children, so as long as I am with them it really doesn’t matter where we are. Until we know for sure what is happening I will be browsing Realtor.com. We will be using our date night to go house hunting. We will be doing our best to salvage what we can from our broken dream.

Despite all the stress I have been staying true to my Whole30. I made it the full 30 days plus some. I keep having issues, but I am hoping the doc will respond and clear up a few things about the test results. I am sure you will hear more about that from me later next week. I did lose a little over 20lbs since I started Whole30. I am pretty pleased with that and I am encouraged to keep this up. I think I am going to add some kind of workout to my daily schedule and see where that takes me.

I have noticed a few new things when it comes to my Whole30 journey. My portion sizes have gotten significantly smaller. I am fuller with less food. I know that may not mean much to some people, but to me that’s a big deal. I also have been better about not finishing all of my food just because it’s there. I don’t know if that was something I inherited because of that rule, “finish your food before you leave the table.” It might also be my thought about wasting food. But, I have been enjoying leftovers so much more now, before I wouldn’t have anything left because I would have eaten it all.

Ben is officially on the Whole30 plan starting tomorrow. I have agreed to cook and he has agreed to keep away from bbq sauce and fruit snacks. HAHAHAHAHA! I know he can last the full 30 days, so I really hope he sticks with it. I am hoping my brother does a test run with it too. He was thinking about it, so I hope he tries it.

I will keep you all posted about house stuff and how things go with the doc. Tell me about your week. Did you have a good start to the New Year? Any resolutions you would like to share? What are your feelings about HOAs? Have a great day everyone!

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